I couldn’t fall asleep last night, my brain kept thinking about all kinds of “medically related and non-medically related” things. I kept imaging what it would be like when this is all over…I don’t really have any specific plans although I think that might actually be helpful motivation wise, but I just want it to be over. Just to be able to wake up in the morning, make my coffee and breakfast, sit outside in my backyard which pretty much overlooks a whole lotta flat land and nothingness and just read the newspaper or something without being in a rush, without having to worry about starting Rx questions at exactly 7:30am. I miss that. Now don’t get me wrong, I do take some breaks every now and then and my Saturday’s breakfast is usually longer than normal days but I still can’t “enjoy” myself. I’m still constantly thinking about how behind I am or how much I have to get through in the morning and what the afternoon’s schedule is going to look like.
So I couldn’t fall asleep but as usual (for a Sunday anyways), I woke up at 7am. I’m one of those people that just cannot sleep in…I guess for the most part it’s a blessing that every medical school student wishes to have but not when you only got 3 hours of sleep the night before. Anyways, I got up feeling like “this was going to be a very lazy day”, fixed myself an egg, made some coffee and turned on my laptop to check my e-mail and when I couldn’t find anything (everyone is way too busy studying eh!), I went to check my Junk mail where my daily “horoscope” goes. I don’t really read those, just send them straight to junk mail but since I was bored and desperately looking for any excuse to not study, I clicked on today’s e-mail:
“You have a chance as the day progresses to reevaluate your career goals with realism on your side, as well as to objectively decide what kinds of responsibilities you truly feel capable of, and want to, take on. The day can be quite productive simply because you are very much in the “here and now” and take special pride in what you do – and how well you do it.”
For some reason, this completely random quote gave me that motivation or that pat on the shoulder that I’ve been longing for. Take pride in what you do and how you do it. So I got up and decided to go back and review some of the topics that I had studied last week (Upperclassmen have always emphasized on the importance of repetition) . I was actually pretty surprised with how efficient I was today. I managed to get through all of pharmacology, all of pathology and all of immunology (which was slowly slipping into my unconscious mind). I wanted to do some question at the end but I am way too tired right now and I don’t think I’ll learn much at this point anyways as I have a massive headache and I can’t wait to fall asleep.